Well I wouldn't have a big garage. No no, I'd have an aircraft hanger. Below you will find, in a quite organised thank-you-very-much fashion, my favorite cars in every category imaginable. Let the great debate begin.
LUXURY SEDAN
Mercedes-Benz S600 - $158,050
 |
| "Dear Beemer- give up already. Signed, Mercedes Benz." |
 |
| Did I mention it has Night Vision? That officially qualifies it as "awesome". |
In the S600 you feel like a king in your castle. You're surrounded by fine leather and exquisitely crafted woods. Everything is built to the highest of standards. It has everything a grown man could dream of in a car, and does everything but drive itself. There's a reason I didn't choose the S65 AMG version- I don't need that much power in a car like this. I'd be happy cruising along at 50mph, smiling smugly at the lesser people.
Uber-Luxury Sedan
Bentley Mulsanne - $280,000
 |
| I'd probably never drive it. I would learn to paint, though... |
 |
| Death toll: 30 cows, 100 trees, 1 Rolls Royce driver who made a sly comment. |
Let's get this out of the way, shall we? There's a reason I didn't post a picture of the front. The grill is too goofy to be believed- it's a dopey cheshire grin on an otherwise unbelievably regal vehicle. I can get past the face, though, for something this cushy. Something tells me I wouldn't spend any time in my house at all (not that I could afford one if I owned one of these...)
Roadster
Lotus Evora - $64,900
 |
| Either he has a giant spotlight hired to follow him, or he's about to be abducted. |
 |
| I dare you not to power-slide around every corner. |
I'm sorry 911- you know I really wanted to pick you... And I probably would have, but... Have you seen this thing? It looks like it came out of an Isaac Asimov story, and you- well you haven't changed for 30 years. Yes I know you handle like a dream, and I know you'd drive better than the Lotus, but to be honest? I'd be bored driving any roadster that wasn't an Evora.
Sports Car
Ferrarri 458 - $250,000
 |
| Dear everyone: THIS is how you design a car. |
 |
| Is this a car, or an F-22? |
The figures don't lie: 570 horsepower. 398 ft-lbs torque. 0-60 in 3.4 seconds. And just LOOK at it- every other red car on earth just got a flat tire. You don't drive the 458. You cling tight to the steering wheel and hope to God that you know what you're doing...
SUV
Range Rover HSE - $90,000
 |
| It'll run you over, but not before saying "please" and "thank you". |
 |
| Wait... I'm in an SUV? |
It's really no different than an the S600 Mercedes above- you get the immaculate build quality, all the toys and leather and buttons that you could ever want. Okay, so it can hold 7 people. And tow anything you want. And go off road better than just about anything. Sure, you'll get about six mpg but you'll feel mighty fine doing it. It's an S-class for someone who lives on top of a mountain, with no driveway.
Pickup
Chevrolet Silverado 2500 - $28,315
 |
| What's THIS doing in my garage? |
 |
| More cheap plastic than a Fisher-Price factory. |
Yes, it's a Chevy. I know, it's hilariously stupid-looking. Why would I have it, you ask? Not quite sure to be honest. Maybe one day I'll have a friend that needs to haul a trailer full of horses across Arkansas, and I don't want them to get my Range Rover dirty...
